


end poem

by boffy



Series: two dumb friends, and one mean man [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Family Crynamics, Family Dynamics, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I swear to god this is all platonic i just have very close friendships, Medic Tommy, Prequel, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), genuinely idk how it works dont @ me, its just minecraft but super fantasy now lol, rlcraft but idk how rlcraft works, where we would all die for eachother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:48:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28683531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boffy/pseuds/boffy
Summary: you had the perspective of someone who lost their way, i thought i could keep you somewhere safe
Relationships: Boffy & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: two dumb friends, and one mean man [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098311
Comments: 18
Kudos: 182





	end poem

**Author's Note:**

> title and summary from end poem by london foxes

_and the universe said i love you_

tommy tends anxiously to the cows, glancing towards the barn’s door every 30 seconds, as though boffy will show up and everything will happen like usual. tommy will heal up the wounds of the day, chastising his best friend for running into every monster nest he finds for loot because _‘one day it’ll bite you in the ass idiot!'_ boffy will brush it off and talk about the innocent people he massacred that day. others would wince and call him destructive, but tommy listens in a mixture of amusement and anger. but it doesn't happen, and now tommy is double locking the barn and setting up the night's torches and defenses against the monsters around and boffy still isn’t home. tommy tells himself everything is fine, and that boffy probably found some creature that he couldn’t let live in peace, maybe a cow or a dolphin or a fish, and decided to torture it for a while. boffy could get so caught up in those schemes he does, tommy tells himself boffy had just forgotten to tell him. Tommy takes a few deep breaths and pretends he knows what he’s doing.

**and the universe said you have played the game well**

boffy weaves in and out through the fireballs, effectively dodging them all, except for one stray that grazes his skin. he doesn't mind it, pours a little bit of fire resistance on it, and keeps fighting. it's an easy run, especially in a world generation like this. he supposes he had gotten lucky in this world, the nether cities are acres apart from each other and they barely communicated with each other. it was a piece of cake traveling throughout here, and with a couple more kills, he would surely be able to get more than the right amount of materials needed for tommy's potions. distracted in his own thoughts, boffy barely sees the fire coming his way, and dodges, swearing to himself. the cinders in this city are way too op, especially compared to the other cinders, an easy to beat mob who boffy’s killed many times. these ones have massive attack damage, the grazes that barely hit him take off quite a few hearts of health. the smoke they are creating is messing with his eyes, but he still has a few more to go before he has enough of the blaze rods they drop. he forces his eyes wide and pours fire resistance onto them, he’s going to kill these flaming asshats if it's the last thing he ever does.

_and the universe said everything you need is within you_

a thump from the front of the house wakes tommy in the middle of the night. _a monster_ his mind screams, _boffy_ his heart yells, _aren't they one in the same_ his subconscious whispers, drowned out by the loud voices of the others. tommy shakes his head, the voices are a constant, he’s stopped them from influencing his decisions. he goes to the window and you can almost hear his heart rub the triumph in the face of the others, but his heart stops, literally and metaphorically, when he sees the curled into itself body of the other boy. he rushes down the stony stairs, and slams the button on the redstone door. _too slow too fucking slow hes going to die and it will be your fault_ he mines through the door rapidly, thanking himself for the enchanments he added earlier, and practically rips boffy off the floor. if boffy dies he doesn't know what he’ll do, he doesn’t know how he’ll live with himself. he doesn’t know how he’ll live. he takes out the potions and spells from the shelves and takes out everything he’s learned from books upon books, from minx’s teachings in the late nights of a messy medical school, from the improvisations of luke after they fight another war against a god, and prays.

**and the universe said you are stronger than you know**

boffy’s killed them, just like he said he would, but its starting to look like its the last thing he’ll do. he feels like he’s on fire, warm and then hot and then its stifling, and he can barely breathe. he curses himself for his pride, the moment the cinders started feeling different, started fighting different, he should’ve left. tommy wouldn’t of cared if he didn’t get the blaze rods, they would’ve just made a farm together the next day, but now boffy is dying from the inside out. he doesn’t know medicine, not as well as tommy anyway, but boffy knows that he isn’t surviving this. he shuts his eyes the moment he walks out of the portal, the humid midnight air of the overworld islands is a welcome change to the dry heat of the nether, and its almost peaceful. **almost** his mind whispers **what about tommy** it says, accusingly. boffy bolts up, wincing in pain. tommy, he forgot tommy in his dying stupor. tommy, his best friend, who will wait for him to come home. tommy, who will search everywhere for him the moment sunlight breaks the heavy darkness cast upon the sky. tommy, who will find his crumpled and burnt body outside the portal and instead of condemning boffy for his stupidity, like anyone else would, tommy will curse at himself. tommy will curse himself for not being strong enough, helpful enough. tommy will despise himself for not being enough to save boffy as though there was anything he could do. tommy is no one if not a healer, tommy is no one if not a martyr who will die of his own love, because no matter what anyone does, tommy will find a way for it to be his own fault. boffy remembers that, and so he will hike himself off the ground and use the last of his energy to waypoint to tommy and their home.

_and the universe said you are the daylight_

(tommy sits in a dimly lit classroom, only a few other students. he's by far the youngest one there, twelve years old in a classroom full of sixteen to eighteen year olds, but he doesn't mind. he’s used to being the youngest wherever he goes, hypixel isn’t the most welcoming place for children like himself, especially not in the skywars, bedwars, and skyblock lobbies. he opens up the notebook he had bought earlier that day with deo, and writes down his name and the date. the professor hasn’t showed up yet, but tommy’s there right on time, and schools in areas like these are much more flexible with time schedules. the people around him in the classroom pay him no mind, two girls in the corner laughing at one of their phones, three boys in the middle messing around with some broken pencils they found on the floor. there's another boy a few seats over from him, whisper yelling on the phone. he looks nice, reminds tommy of deo, but that might just be brightly colored clothing. he has a weird glove, almost a gauntlet, and tommy wants to ask him about it. but, the professor shows up and the spell is broken.)

(the professor's name is minx. the boy’s name is connor. they are really, really, really nice, albeit a bit loud. tommy feels at home with them, even with minx’s excessive swearing and her ability to rant for hours about medical practices and how ‘potions are ruining the practice of medicine and people are far too reliant on them,’ and connor’s pissy rants about business and his coworker and intern. minx and connor bond over their annoyance with this coworker, connor more lightheartedly than minx, and tommy learns his name is jschlatt. he seems cool, an alleged business man that’s more like a scammer, and tommy will take notes on him and his practices to try them in skyblock. for right now though, he’s okay with learning medicine and healing from minx, and learning business and scams from connor, and having a family. he’s happy, and it’s calm. it's all he ever wanted.)

**and the universe said you are the night**

(boffy stares into the dark ash of a burnt village, the bouncing embers reminding him of what he’s done, the iron melted into the earth telling him that he will not be forgiven for it. he ignores the whispers that ask for fire and destruction, that ask for pain that he cannot give. boffy is tired and he’s angry, and he’s so, so alone. boffy will pretend everything is okay for now, and he will go back home. he drags his feet, hitting the flint and steel against each other watching burning flickers of light ricochet off each other as it hits. he knows other kids his age wouldn’t be given access to a weapon like flint and steel, but other eleven year olds aren’t usually left in the woods of an abandoned rlcraft server when their nine with nothing to depend on. boffy’s fought for everything, and he’s not going to stop his destructive tendencies because of some hypothetical people who would say it was wrong. he shakes his head, dispelling those thoughts, talking about hypothetical people and arguing with himself are definitely some signs of insanity, and he’s not going to give the voices the satisfaction of watching him go off the deep end.)

(he's fifteen now, and it's becomes routine for him, walk for miles, find a village, burn it to the ground, and try his best to walk back home before violently dying to a mob and respawning at his house. it’s usually calming, usually stress relieving. usually being the keyword there, because this time, it’s quite the opposite. boffy curses himself out as he runs away from the semi burned village, how the fuck was he supposed to know this was some sacred place for some fairy. he rips through the wall of the tower he’s decided will be his home for the night, and quickly places the blocks back behind him. he breathes a sigh of relief, falling to the floor, brusied and hurt. he immediately bolts back up, and holds his pickaxe out menacingly, at least he hopes.

**“who the fuck are you?”**

_“this is MY house! who the fuck are you”_

his eyes widened behind the mask, he just broke into the house of another player. another very, very sentient player, who looks pissed. boffy doesn’t know how to fight people, only villagers, and villagers don't fight back. the other players' eyes soften, and boffy wishes the other would’ve just killed him. he’s used to violence, he’s not so used to kindness. the other slowly puts down his sword, and turns around. **a sign of weakness** the voices say **you could just kill him right now.** the boy turns back to him, with bandages and potions, his hands full and he could just **kill him, kill him right now, he’s so weak, he’s so vulnerable.** boffy doesn't kill him, and it's the best decision he’s ever made.)

_and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you_

tommy swears to himself, he swears at himself. he pours another potion down boffy’s throat. he tries to use normal medicine, he tries to use potions, he even tries to use the spells that schlatt and ty had showed him so, so long ago. nothing works, nothings working. tommy wants to scream, tommy wants to cry, he wants to tear every single thing out of him so he never has to feel anything like this ever again. boffy is going to die, boffy is going to die and he won’t come back, the sickness too grave to survive, and the pain so avoidable that anyone who could catch it deserves to die for their stupidity, the universe won’t let them live. it’s survival of the fittest, and it is painful and upsetting and rage inducing and tommy doesn’t want to believe it because it’s so unfair. boffy is going to die, and there’s nothing tommy can do and that’s not fair. in moments like these, when he represses all thoughts of the moment and his body goes on autopilot, he thinks of his family. not business bay, his brothers forged in war and the heat of battle, not connor and minx, his parental figures from a medical school from years ago that still check up on him to make sure he’s okay, but his first family. his family of phil and techno and wilbur and _sammie,_ his mother. he thinks of what she used to say when he when he called things unfair, unreasonable

‘planet earth is blue, and there’s nothing we can do’

boffy is the sun, burning bright until he explodes, falling victim to the fiery burst we call pride, and tommy is the earth, stable and caring, and forced to watch as his friend crumbles and falls. tommy becomes blue, oh so blue, and sobs over the burning body of his friend.

**and the universe said the light you seek is within you**

“it’s okay, it’s going to be okay, this isn’t your fault. i am not your sun, i am a star that was far too big that fooled you, that tricked you into believing that you were nothing but a rock revolving around someone bigger. you are the sun, you are bright, brighter then i would’ve ever been and you will not burn out. my fate was never up to you, i blew it, i fucked it, but it’s going to be okay. you’re going to be okay.”

_and the universe said you are not alone_

“i already miss you. when will i be okay?”

**and the universe said you are not separate from every other thing**

“soon. now leave me here, you have another family, another brother, or even brothers, to go back to. i miss you too”

_and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code_

“okay.”

tommy goes back to smp earth with a heavy heart, yet he hides it well. he represses the memories, too painful to think about, and instead he does what he does best, he deflects and causes problems. he fights another god with deo and forgets about when he used to fight overpowered monsters with boffy, both of them with only a gravel knife for company. he builds a new farm with bitzel and doesn’t think about when boffy showed him the tiny villager farm he had created, which was barely good, but tommy was so proud of him because he didn’t kill them this time, he didn’t give into the voices. he builds a lookout tower with luke and doesn’t flashback to the time when they met, when boffy ripped through his wall and then they were inseparable friends from the day on. when he sees phil, techno, and wilbur argue and banter, yet still heal each other at the end of the day and remembers boffy, and when he feels the bittersweet warmth of nostalgia spread in his chest rather than bitter, angry jealousy, tommy knows he is healing.

**and the universe said i love you because you are love.**

boffy sees tommy healing and he’s glad one of them was able to. boffy lays his head down on a pillow of stars, and stretches his legs past the moon, and boffy goes to sleep. the ambience of a _‘chirp’_ playing in the background only seals the scene together. boffy is at peace.

_and the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. and the player began a new dream. and the player dreamed again, dreamed better. and the player was the universe. and the player was love._

tommy leaves smp earth and drags tubbo along with him. they are not going to be the zombie child and his hitman anymore, they’re going to be their own people. tubbo builds a house, and tommy introduces himself to the owners. the owner, dream, and his team by extension, remind him of an old friend. all smiles and laughter, lighthearted danger and banter, and tommy will repress the memories of when he had a friendship like that because the wounds are still tender. he will pretend he doesn’t see a monotone boy in a wheezing dream and he will pretend to not see himself, caring and dumb, in sapnap and george. he knows how friendships like these turn out, and he hopes it will be a long time, long enough for him to not be here anymore, until he sees it crumble. he knows he will not be that lucky.

**you are the player. wake up.**

boffy wakes up a cow named henry. he’s already not a fan of this whole ghost thing.

**Author's Note:**

> the way i referenced so many things pls  
> anyway follow me on follow me on [tumblr](https://puffychuu.tumblr.com/)


End file.
